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In my early 20s, I neglected to take such a break when my college boyfriend and I quickly slid into a friendship of frequent phone calls and cross-country visits.

On my way out the door, he asked if he could still text me occasionally. Three months spent in that space between like and love, trying to figure out if we were going to really do this or cut and run. And while I was upset, I was also relieved that a decision had been made.

“I’m going to need some time.” We’d just finished the second round of a breakup talk at the end of a relationship that was three months but felt like six.

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But we were probably kidding ourselves about the friend thing; what we were doing was more akin to a long-distance relationship.

“I Much like being in a romantic relationship, remaining friends with an ex requires that you’re both looking for similar things.

Ettin, the online dating coach, has an ex-boyfriend she dated when she was 22 and had just moved to Washington.

Thirteen years later, they still meet for lunch annually.

“H Last week, my ex from a year ago texted to ask if I wanted to catch up over lunch.

I’d never followed up from the fall, and six months later I was ready for that catch-up.

But I was determined to get over this one without talking to him. Until I ran into him at a day-long meditation seminar in October.

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