Funny dating jokes and date humor who is sisqo dating

I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did.

They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. " Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. " A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. " The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?

" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95? "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..." After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side.

“Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants.

(Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.) It's not you, it's me.

(It's not me, it's you.) I'm concentrating on my career.

" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean? " So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!

" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK? " His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.

(You are one Jurassic geezer.) I'm not attracted to you in that way.

(You are the ugliest dork I have ever laid eyes upon.) My life is too complicated right now.

(Even something as boring and as my job has got to be better than dating you.) I'm celibate.

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